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| so, without even fully realizing it, i graduated from college last saturday. ooohhh boy. two and a half years simply is....too short for a college career, but that's what i ended up with. some people might call me a poser, but that's ok. i do have two more classes to complete before i can officially graduate. here are the pictures. enjoy yourselves!  the friends: steven, mel, me, derek, beth (flowers were of the courtesy of my mother)
 the cousins: audrey, me, jason  some of the fam: grandma, me, auntie may  the family: daniel, dad, me, mom  the boyfriend: jeff, me  and me, of course. and now, i go to chinar. merry christmas. be back on new year's eve! | | |
| so. this is for those of you that still read this. since i haven't written since december. i'll try to update more often. =)
last summer, i began to feel God's call for me to go into full time ministry--whatever that meant. at the time, i defined that as a full time missionary, pastor, or something to that degree. i really sensed that God wanted me to go into worship, specifically with music in mind. by the end of the summer, as most of you know, i felt God telling me that it was not yet time. as a result, i dropped the music major and began to learn a ton about social and economic justice, especially in the urban cities, along with racial reconciliation and finding my own identity. to put it shortly, this year was a long one, but an incredible time of growth. let me tell you, this was one very bumpy ride, but God taught me so much through it.
that, however, is not the point of this entry. as a result of these things that i've learned, i have been wanting to work in the urban city. though i do not have a clearly defined vision or goal in mind, i know that i want to work with people, somehow, in a position in which i can minister to people directly. after much thinking and deliberation, and given that i still have a heart for the nations but do not feel called to go long-term, i feel that God may be calling me to work with a missions' organization of some sort that is located within the city. this way, i can do ministry in the city, but still be i a position to send people out globally.
i suppose, coming into this summer and even through this last year, i had pretty much put aside my calling for full time ministry and was focusing on the here and now--or at least the local. i decided to pursue something in the field of health administration, per the advice of my father. i started looking into different options and what that really meant for the future and what kind of classes i might take for it. i was already going do some volunteering at svcahc, a free health clinic started by some doctors at my church and was hoping to get some experience and exposure, here.this is great because i get to work directly with people in need,
specifically homeless involved with cititeam, an organization for
homeless people that teamed up with svcahc. honestly, though, i'm not so sure that this is specifically where God is calling me.
this past weekend at the young adult summit, i was reminded of God's original call for me that i had felt last year and had so easily put aside. i remembered my calling towards full time ministry, though, amongst all the new things i'd learned this year, i knew this was different. i think that out of all the lessons i learned this year, the most significant one was intentional missional living, something jeff and i talk about a lot. i spent a lot of time worrying and wondering what i could possibly do (or if i could even handle) being a missionary or pastor or whatever else commonly comes to mind when thinking of full time ministry. i've learned that full time ministry, the way i now see it, is not just a position or job but the way you live your life. i would still love to be involved in worship ministry, it being one of the biggest things on my heart, but it's really up to God at this point. on one hand, one might say that this, therefore, puts more options on the table, which would cause me to worry about it more, but, on the other hand, i'm excited for what God will bring me to.
during the retreat, uncle ed was praying for me. he was saying how God has taught me a lot, and a lot of unexpected things, which is so true. as he prayed, he ended with a prophecy, saying that there was a lot i still had to learn, more unknowns to discover. God is going to teach me something else--something new and unexpected. i'm excited for the things God will show me this year. i know i definitely did not expect to learn about racial reconciliation and justice this year, but God smacked me in the face with it and grew my heart so large for these. i know He has more and i can't wait to receive whatever He has for me.
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